The Sexuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner. that site

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, closeness, and wellness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay guys desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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