The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective feelings of destination, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

But when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" see this For gay males More Help particularly in cities, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Many gay guys desire to learn from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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