The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that numerous of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship imp source based upon sexual chemistry threat check my blog relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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