The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

However when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that many of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay males want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

However, North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by from this source paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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